(Yes, true story. I had not actually heard this song till I sat down to write this. I decided I'd better listen to it if I was going to title my post after it. Thank you YouTube!)
I feel like this song describes my life sometimes...and I'm not proud of that!
Now, if you know me very much at all you might be saying,
"Alesha! You got a job as soon as you got your license and kept that same job for over five years.
Before that, you cleaned houses with your mom and did childcare at church to earn money.
You graduated with your Associate in Arts Degree at age 18.
You worked 25+ hours a week while pursuing a Bachelors degree.
You got married at 20.
You were a youth leader for 4 years.
You moved across the country with your husband to help start a church.
How in the world does this song describe you?"
And I would reply,
"What you don't see is the hours I spend on social media in a single day without once picking up my bible.
What you don't see are the games I play on my phone when my I have hardly had quality time with my husband...who is sitting right next to me.
What you don't see is all the blog posts I have thought about writing, that never come to fruition...because I don't take the time to simply sit and write.
What you don't see is how it takes me 40 minutes to put away 2 loads of laundry because I'm reading blogs between every piece of laundry I fold.
What you don't see is how I get distracted from praying by thinking my new Etsy shop products."
Are these things bad? No, not at all.
But they are throwing my life off balance. There is not the right balance between work and rest, between toil and fun.
Additionally my mind is not getting a chance to rest. I am struggling to take the time let my heart rest. It has become challenging for me to slow down enough to focus on relationships or to listen to God's voice. Day to day this is a constant battle. You know what?
I CAN'T DO IT!
And that is so freeing to say, because I know that Jesus is my strength. However, if I never take time to connect to the Source of my strength, then how will I continue on?
All that to say, I need a break. God recently convicted me of this when I listened to this message by Pastor Mark Driscoll.
I love how he shares, not from legalism, but from his own brokenness. He is speaking through what God taught him. He is preaching from what God had been teaching him.
I love that!
I know that this sermon is over an hour long, but I encourage you to turn it on while folding laundry or cooking dinner or washing dishes. You will be blessed. You will be challenged. You will be encouraged.
I didn't want to let God penetrate my heart through this sermon, but I knew that I needed to let Him.
So for now, Sundays will be my day of rest from Social Media.
...I may still post on Twitter or Instagram, but I won't spend hours searching through posts and catching up on all the gossip. Anything posted will be for the goal of preserving personal memories and connecting with the people closest to me (aka. my family). And I certainly won't be posting anything to do with my blog or shop.
Email may just have to wait.
Blogs I follow? Well, the posts just may not get read.
And that is okay!
Yes, as I write this I still struggle to say all this and believe it. But I know that my heart needs a break. I need a day to stop and be fully present. I need to create balance in my life between work and "fun".
By consciously setting a day aside where I disconnect from social media, I hope that through the rest of the week, I will continue to keep all things in balance.
Do I want to be legalistic about this?
Do I want you to do this to?
Only if you feel God telling you so...this is about me being obedient to God; this is not about you. =)
I am sharing all this for a few reasons, but mainly because I want to share with you what God is doing in my life and heart. Honestly? I'm not looking forward to this. It will be hard for me to put my phone down and not check those notifications. But I know it is good and it is necessary.
It is especially necessary right now as I am about to start up my Etsy shop. (November 1st!!!) My "work" is becoming so integrated with my social life (online) that I need to create just a bit of separation. I need to make sure that I am living in the physical world too, not just the online one.
They are both good, but there must be balance.
So thanks for reading my heart. Please, keep me accountable. And I hope this messages blesses you as much as it did me.
So scroll back up right now and listen to it! ;-)