IF+THEN

Truth has a way of throwing me off balance.

Sometimes its so easy to live life believing lies even after you've been shown the truth.
It's easy.
It doesn't require the pain of change.
It's simple.

So what truth is throwing me off balance right now?

This truth that was spoken by my pastor this past Thursday.

The text was Matthew 13:53-58
These words from His sermon are sticking with me this week.

His "if/then" statement really hit me.
IF I can trust God with this, THEN why can't I trust God with that?
Truth.

Matthew 13:58 - "And he did not do many mighty works there, because of their unbelief."

If I believe the above statement and if I know that He says, "Trust me. Have faith. Love me first."
Then why don't I?
Because I am not capable in my own strength.

Jesus, fill me with Your Spirit.

Give me the faith to believe in You and to trust You.

Give me the grace to love You before anything else.

Give me more of You, Jesus.

And let all the glory be Yours.

Amen

Be blessed

<3

What I Needed to Hear

I generally consider myself a gospel-centered person. All-in-all, I feel like I have a pretty decent understanding of grace.
...maybe that in and of itself is the problem.


Either way, when's sat down to the (yesterday's and today's) #shereadstruth study this afternoon, grace smacked me in the face!

See, I have been really, really struggling to get my quiet time in over the past few weeks. I maybe sit down with my journal once or twice a week to really dig in. I know that's not enough! But I have been allowing this slacking to cause me to feel guilty, to deny that there is any problem in my heart, and to actually keep me from drawing close to the Lord.

How messed up is that?

Well, I sat down and read the words pictured above, and the guilt washed away.

I needed this reminder.
God loves me at my worst.
He died for me when I hated Him.
He offered up His Son to take my punishment.

Then He took the righteousness of His perfect, sinless Son Jesus and gave it to ME!
Ladies, do we get this? If you have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and asked Him to save and forgive you, then...

When God looks at you He sees all the glory and perfection of Jesus Christ!

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I have such a hard time fathoming this sometimes. But it is glorious isn't it? There is nothing that we can do that will change our position before God. Jesus secured that for us on the cross.

Wow.

We serve a good God.

I was reminded today, that my understanding of grace is far from perfect. I was reminded that I need to allow myself to daily be washed in this truth. I need to pour this truth into my heart moment by moment and let it affect every area of my life.

How do you remind yourself of grace? Do you struggle to believe that God views you as He does? How can I pray for you in this?

Be blessed,
Alesha

Hearing

A few weeks ago the pastor's wife started a women's bible study for Redemption Church. We are going through the book of James and God is speaking.

Doing...that's a tough word for me.

I am a perfectionist, an A-type personality, a proud personality, a legalist... God has broken me over and over again on the issue of legalism. It is God alone who judges and not me.

Thus, the thought of "doing" is one that scares me. How do I "do" without becoming proud and self-righteous?

Yet read these verse again. There is no room for question. If I am not acting on what I believe, then do I really believe it?

Over and over again, I go to God's Word and am convicted. God is speaking to me and I hear, then I walk away...and I forget. I don't take time to let God's Word settle into my heart.

This is something that God has been slowly, but steadily pushing and pushing into my life over the past several months. Sometimes He whispers, sometimes He nudges, and sometimes He shouts into my heart, "Slow down. Let this penetrate your heart. Open up to Me. Soften up. Listen."

Everyday is the same battle. A battle in my deepest heart. Will I take the time to open up and be vulnerable to a King who loves me unconditionally and only has my best at heart, or to look in the mirror of His perfect law and then to walk away.

One option is easy.

One option will never leave me the same.

I am praying that God will continue to pushing this on my heart and that I will learn to let His Word  truly "sink in" and change me. That I will let His Word penetrate me and make me a doer, not a hearer only.

Do you have a hard time slowing down enough to let God's Word really sink into your heart? Do you, like me, struggle with letting God's Word change your life and lead you into action?

Be blessed.

<3

Linking Up:

Insta-Date

Dear Readers,

Allow me to share my heart with you today.

Since we've arrived here in Florida, I have not shared much of what we have been doing. So that is going to change.

Praise the Lord, my husband got a job at a Starbuck literally ONE BLOCK from our new apartment!
{Yes, our beautiful, little, second-story apartment! I love it!}
I took this photo walking home from his work...in the sun...in late October!

We are finally settling in, searching thrift stores for more furniture, and starting to develop some good normalcy in life, for which I am so thankful!

And I finally got a chance to recreate a piece of furniture.

{Post coming soon!}

I'm loving this piece in our bedroom right now.

Our apartment is blessing from God. Honestly, it was the only one we looked at. An upstairs apartment 1 block from downtown and about 8 blocks from the beach...seriously? And the number one selling point? The price. God is so good!

The only downside to our dreamy little place...is the teensy, tiny kitchen. And I LOVE to cook. It took me about a week to get over my fear of baking in such a tiny space. But I finally pulled out my Kitchen Aid mixer and have been in cooking heaven.

And yes, it has to sit on a bar stool. Haha!

The results have been scrumptious!

My work...well, no luck yet in terms of finding a "real" job. But God has provided for me to start tutoring. So far I have 2 students! =) I really, really love working with my students and helping them to learn, grow, and succeed. God is good.

Additionally I am working on launching my Etsy Shop on November 1st!
{I'm down to less than a week...yikes!}
So in my long hours at home, I have been crocheting and designing like crazy. Stay tuned to see more!

However, as life forms some version of a "new normal", the loneliness and homesickness has started to set in.

Today, I video chatted with my sister so that I could watch my other sister's districts cross country race! I am constantly amazed at how modern technology allows me to be present for important moments like this from literally the other side of the country!



She ran so hard and so well. I was so proud! My little sophomore sister took 4th! She came back from a bad sprain just 3 months ago, and is looking to be a strong contender at State again this year!

And yet when it was all over, I could only cry. I was so proud of her, and yet all I wanted was to be there to hug her and tell her how much I love her. But right now she is over 3,000 miles away...
However, everytime I get very homesick, I look at this...

Another one of my sisters is visiting me over her Christmas break! I think my heart starts pumping faster every time I think about it. I truly am SO excited!

We are going to soak in as much of this...

And this...

As we possibly can! And we're taking a heavily discounted cruise to the Bahamas! =) I couldn't be more excited!

To be totally honest with you all - places can replace people, but every time I go down to the beach, it makes me a bit less homesick.

Some days this past week, I've almost been able to trick myself into thinking I'm back in Washington. Hurricane Sandy brought us two days of of gray skies, rain, and wind, all very familiar to me in the realm of weather. However, we're back to sun and blue skies, minus the humidity and plus a bunch of wind. The effects of Hurricane Sandy, although very minimal, are still seen everywhere here. The main effects are the wind, lack of humidity, mild flooding, and crazy waves at the beach.

I am definitely praying for everyone who is going to have to evacuate or already has. My heart goes out to them all!

Yet in spite of all the loneliness and homesickness, God is good. I am thoroughly enjoying every moment I have with my husband down here...and there are many of them. He is so supportive and loving. When I first started dating him, I knew that if it continued on to marriage, my life would never be the same. And it's not! =)

My husband has been playing music every Wednesday night at a local coffee shop that has an open mic. He's been doing so well and I love hearing him practice so much.

And the church? Thursday nights are a wonderful and encouraging time to serve and to be refreshed in God's Word. Although it is small, I believe that faithfulness in these moments is so important. So we are praying, praying, praying for our city, and trying our best to build relationships and to be faithful with what God has given us for now.

So it's been a lengthy and up and down update. In the end, all I have to say is...

For I know that my Redeemer lives,

and at the last he will stand upon the earth.

yet in my flesh I shall see God,

and my eyes shall behold, and not another.

Job 19:25-26

God is good. My purpose here in Delray Beach is to bring glory to Him, but then again, that is my mission in life no matter where I live.
God is good.

Be blessed
<3

"Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun..."

We've all heard of this song, right?
(Yes, true story. I had not actually heard this song till I sat down to write this. I decided I'd better listen to it if I was going to title my post after it. Thank you YouTube!)

I feel like this song describes my life sometimes...and I'm not proud of that!

Now, if you know me very much at all you might be saying,
"Alesha! You got a job as soon as you got your license and kept that same job for over five years.
Before that, you cleaned houses with your mom and did childcare at church to earn money.
You graduated with your Associate in Arts Degree at age 18.
You worked 25+ hours a week while pursuing a Bachelors degree.
You got married at 20.
You were a youth leader for 4 years.
You moved across the country with your husband to help start a church.
How in the world does this song describe you?"

And I would reply,
"What you don't see is the hours I spend on social media in a single day without once picking up my bible.
What you don't see are the games I play on my phone when my I have hardly had quality time with my husband...who is sitting right next to me.
What you don't see is all the blog posts I have thought about writing, that never come to fruition...because I don't take the time to simply sit and write.
What you don't see is how it takes me 40 minutes to put away 2 loads of laundry because I'm reading blogs between every piece of laundry I fold.
What you don't see is how I get distracted from praying by thinking my new Etsy shop products."

Are these things bad? No, not at all.

But they are throwing my life off balance. There is not the right balance between work and rest, between toil and fun.

Additionally my mind is not getting a chance to rest. I am struggling to take the time let my heart rest. It has become challenging for me to slow down enough to focus on relationships or to listen to God's voice. Day to day this is a constant battle. You know what?

I CAN'T DO IT!

And that is so freeing to say, because I know that Jesus is my strength. However, if I never take time to connect to the Source of my strength, then how will I continue on?

All that to say, I need a break. God recently convicted me of this when I listened to this message by Pastor Mark Driscoll.



I love how he shares, not from legalism, but from his own brokenness. He is speaking through what God taught him. He is preaching from what God had been teaching him.
I love that!

I know that this sermon is over an hour long, but I encourage you to turn it on while folding laundry or cooking dinner or washing dishes. You will be blessed. You will be challenged. You will be encouraged.

I didn't want to let God penetrate my heart through this sermon, but I knew that I needed to let Him.

So for now, Sundays will be my day of rest from Social Media.
No blogging.
No Twitter.
No Facebook.
No Instagram
...I may still post on Twitter or Instagram, but I won't spend hours searching through posts and catching up on all the gossip. Anything posted will be for the goal of preserving personal memories and connecting with the people closest to me (aka. my family). And I certainly won't be posting anything to do with my blog or shop.
Email may just have to wait.
Blogs I follow? Well, the posts just may not get read.
And that is okay!
Yes, as I write this I still struggle to say all this and believe it. But I know that my heart needs a break. I need a day to stop and be fully present. I need to create balance in my life between work and "fun".

By consciously setting a day aside where I disconnect from social media, I hope that through the rest of the week, I will continue to keep all things in balance.

Do I want to be legalistic about this?
No.

Do I want you to do this to?
Only if you feel God telling you so...this is about me being obedient to God; this is not about you. =)

I am sharing all this for a few reasons, but mainly because I want to share with you what God is doing in my life and heart. Honestly? I'm not looking forward to this. It will be hard for me to put my phone down and not check those notifications. But I know it is good and it is necessary.

It is especially necessary right now as I am about to start up my Etsy shop. (November 1st!!!) My "work" is becoming so integrated with my social life (online) that I need to create just a bit of separation. I need to make sure that I am living in the physical world too, not just the online one.
They are both good, but there must be balance.

So thanks for reading my heart. Please, keep me accountable. And I hope this messages blesses you as much as it did me.
So scroll back up right now and listen to it! ;-)

Be blessed.
<3

Promises to Heal Your Heart

Thus the Lord gave to Israel all the land that he swore to give to their fathers. And they took possession of it, and they settled there. And the Lord gave them rest on every side just as he had sworn to their fathers. Not one of all their enemies had withstood them, for the Lord had given all their enemies into their hands. Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass. (Joshua 21:43-45 ESV)

During one of my four+ hour driving shifts during our trip, I was listening to this passage from the book of Joshua. (Listening to the bible being read aloud? I know!!! How cool, huh?)

The words seemed to jump out of the air and grab my attention.
"Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass."
NOT ONE WORD..."
Wow! This is the God that we serve. And this is hope. He gives hope, because He is faithful and true.

Reading and meditating on these words, I was filled with hope. I began to think of specific words God had spoken over our lives and that others had prayed over us. How wonderful to have the assurance that not one word of these promises would fail.

But these blessings did not just come to the Israelites. Connected to these promises of blessings were promises of trouble and punishment if the Israelites did not stay faithful to God.

"But just as all the good things that the Lord your God promised concerning you have been fulfilled for you, so the Lord will bring upon you all the evil things, until he has destroyed you from off this good land that the Lord your God has given you, if you transgress the covenant of the Lord your God, which he commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them. Then the anger of the Lord will be kindled against you, and you shall perish quickly from off the good land that he has given to you." (Joshua 23:15, 16 ESV)

I began to think of the many promises that are scattered throughout the Bible. They are almost always conditional. Why? Because God is a just God and He cannot do anything that is contrary to His nature. To leave sin unpunished would be contrary to His nature of perfect justice.

But I cannot always perfectly obey God.
I cannot be righteous.
I cannot love perfectly.
I cannot be unendingly faithful.

So that is why Jesus came.

HE is always perfectly obedient to the Father.
HE is righteous.
HE always loves perfectly.
HE is unendingly faithful.

And because He gave me His righteousness, if I choose to accept and live in His righteousness, all the promises and blessing that He has promised are mine.
"Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord..." has made to me, His child, will fail.

Praise the Lord!

What better encouragement could there be as we are driving across the country to serve the Lord in what He has called us to do? All His promises...the hard ones where He has promised to make us like Jesus, and the wonderful ones where He has promised to keep us in perfect peace....are going to be fulfilled in us...are BEING fulfilled in us.

And the best promise is yet to be fulfilled...the promise of heaven. What a beautiful day that will be!

Praise the Lord!

Be blessed.
<3

Instagram + A Coffee Date

If we were having a coffee date today...

I would tell you that growing up is weird.  We have so many weddings and graduation parties to go to! I feel old...but I still feel young...

I think society has created this impression that high school is the idea age of youthfulness, fun and beauty...so we get past high school and we still feel like we're there because we still feel young and beautiful and full of life...

IDK...maybe its just me.

I would tell you to check out this awesome life sized jenga that I instagramed this week (at a grad party - where else?) 

And I'd tell you about the fun scavenger hunt we did at that same grad party...well after it! We would have won except that the first team back gets 5 points...we got back second, but still on time. Sad day. =(

Also, we would have won if we had gone downtown. it was a blast...look at the loot!

I would also tell you that I have been experimenting with embellishing flip flops using yarn and my crochet hook. Weird, huh? I LOVE IT! Creating new crochet patterns and designs rejuvenates me.

I would have never imagined that I would say that...that I am CREATING DESIGNS and PATTERNS! Doesn't that feel so weird and important? It's really not. LOL! But I love it all hte same.

I would also tell you that I am super excited to be doing this giveaway on my blog. And that I'm a teeny bit disappointed that we only have 3 people who've entered so far, but that's okay because there are still 3 days left to enter. I really hope that whoever wins likes their flip flops! I am still working on making myself a pair though! LOL!

I would tell you fun it was to see my sister this week. We had some good conversations and got to know her boyfriend a little more. I'm going to miss her as she is officially living in Seattle this summer. 

Then I would get more serious and tell you what a huge blessing following along with #SheReadsTruth community has been. I would tell you that I want to be more involved with it and am trying to figure out how...and if I have time. I would tell you that God has been teaching me about the importance of His Word. And has been revealing some strongholds that Satan has been in my life.

I would tell you that last night at the Young Adults Group at our church the sermon was about strongholds. "A stronghold is a lie the enemy tells you that you believe." I'm praying that God will help me to break free from the strongholds of fear and insecurity in my life.

And then I would as about YOU. How are YOU doing? Tell me about YOUR life. And most of all, I would ask how I can pray for you...

So email me or comment below. Tell me about YOU. Tell me how I can PRAY.

<3

Be blessed.

P.S. Don't for get to enter the GIVEAWAY!

I'm linking up here for my instagrams...

And here for my coffee date. <3